"Redesign"

I changed my blog's template!   I'm not sure how much that matters, since most of my readers (all 4 of them) probably have me on their feed.

For a long time, I've been thinking about designing a page.  It doesn't even seem worth it anymore, given the awesomeness of feed readers.  I can't say that I don't really love Google Reader (actually I don't - I think there a couple of interface issues that are very unGooglelike, which is mildly troublesome and a little annoying when I'm trying to get things organized), but there is something sad about never really visiting someone's homepage.  Half of the art of designing and maintaining a blog seems to be for naught. 

There's also the dilemma of whether or not I should post my links anymore.  Does it matter?  Is there any real indication that my endorsement of my friend's blogs increases their traffic?  Do I even have traffic?  I took my stat counter down long ago, so I don't really even know.

Eh, whatev.  There was a time when I cared whether or not people were reading.  That time is no more.  It might be that I'm getting older, or it might be that I loathe the fact that social networking and blogging is eating into people's privacy.  All I know is, however infrequent my updates, or the updates of my compatriots in blogging, I love that I have a little virtual community.  For all the internet's insanity, there remains the fact that it brings us closer together.

Super Fat Tuesday

So here's a secret that I don't know what to do with:

I did not vote on Tuesday.

I've been having a hard time admitting that out loud and even to myself, a little bit.  I consider myself a responsible citizen, someone who votes if only for the chance to speak my own individual voice.  And also, I read the paper and the New Yorker and hear reasonable opinions on the candidates and the election process.

Even so I had been dreading Super Tuesday since last week sometime mainly because  I have not yet endorsed any specific candidate.  I listen politely when one of my coworkers tells me why she likes Hillary and then when another tells me why he'll vote for Obama.  And I can make good points in defense of either.

But when it comes down to it, I just can't dredge up enough confidence to vote against Hillary.  Nor can I walk to any polling place, wait in any line and stand in the voter box, all the while believing in Hillary for President.  It's just too hard to see it ever coming to pass.

I struggle also with this whole "first woman president" thing.  I would love to see in my lifetime that women are viewed as capable, trustworthy and honorable.  I don't see that too often in the women in the media in general, so I would be a happy camper to bear witness to such a powerful event in social history.  So who am I to walk into a polling location and vote against that?

At the same time, Obama just doesn't feel right either.  I do not subscribe to that movement in which people believe that Obama can bring about CHANGE.  I get that we need to address our place in the world as Americans.  But I don't think that's the kind of CHANGE that people are so fearlessly getting behind.  And that's what worries me a little bit.

So, let the New Yorkers decide.  I trust a few of them.  Inevitably, I will vote democratic anyway, so que sera sera.